Monday, June 30, 2008

got to feel it feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it gotta feeeeeeeeel gotta gotta gotta feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel the real make it real real gotta just got to feeeeeeeeeeeeeel got to be it gotta beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gotta beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee not to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it feeeeeeel it beeeeeeee it have it reeeeeeeeeeeeal reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal complete it got to compleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeete it got to be heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere nor thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gotta gotta gotta seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it got it got feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it gotta get it get it get get it beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it USELESS THIS IS USELESS BELIEVE IT GOTTA BELIEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT.


fasting (?)

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10:50 PM

Sunday, June 29, 2008

one day im going to lash out at everybody what they do and what i think and what i feel and all their weaknesses, flatten all their egos, all the things about them i hate and so detest and so depise, and give no compliments i return. i'll bawl my heart out and cry my eyes dry, and then run away to some remote place, go, "AHHHHHHH" and "AHHHHHHHHHH" and "AHHHHHHHHH" and do all sorts of crazy stuff before going back home and turn on the aircon and continue to bawl and flop about like a dying fish, and flop flop flop, mope mope mope, calm down, wonder hows everybody doing, then read the bible, feel sorry for losing control, and flop flop flop again onto the bed and sleep or something. after i wake up i shall blame everybody else for everything i've done and go back to meet everybody and see their response. because, besides the princessy syndrome, i have a problem with my wrath, and also because humans are vile, and violent, and evil and inconsiderate, and barbaric and foul and hateful and spiteful and mean and really very stupid and outrageous. and emotional. and i dont likeyyyyyy. whee.

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8:54 PM

Saturday, June 28, 2008

i want to watch 21 and if i don't get to watch it on big screen then i'll buy the dvd/vcd/pirated/whatever and watch that because i have the princessy syndrome right now and so if i don't get to have it then i'll get it. roar.

meanwhile, i dont like my voice. :/ (and the stuff that comes out from my mouth)

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9:28 PM

Friday, June 27, 2008

okay youtube hanged on me and my uploading files. i waited so long for the 58% to load. eh i need to complain. bloody hell.

so i shall do youtube next time. shall 'push the right buttons' or whatever.

11:14 PM


i feel like a sorry ass for myself because i wasted time doing nothing and the video upload takes damn long and i feel like a sorry ass again because i do nothing everyday and the tasks i have to do piles up.
bloody hell. we havent started filming the LA film yet and about every group in class meet up for films. and bio mini and nationals and bloody hell "dya think i can qualify?" bloody hell. uh. yes. im going to go quiet time and everything because everything is so bloody hell now i just feel more and more lazy to move my fingers and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.
being awake and having all these crash on me is bloody hell. i dont care if we dont understand jargon. "long bloody knife" aiya whatever day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day by day, i feel like complaining again. ahhhhh bloody hell. no motivation to do anything.

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10:59 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

i need to do the photos but they all suck because the teacher kept closing up and because they are all cluttered and messy but at least they are merry and the video i took cut off the extreme right people (means Eurydices and Haemon and half of the prison too) so stupid i think i shall ask denise for whatever she has and yes i have to send songs too hahahahahaha and i have homework and the future's worrying and thus i cannot enjoy the present which makes things even more worrying like im being worried for myself and hahahahahaha maybe i should be worried for myself oh i remembered the Bible tells me not to worry so much but crap la zzz like "the ruins would not cease/cresting on and on (and on and on and on)"-something like that haha sum it all up i dont want to go back to formal schooling whee.

10:41 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

sorry for my meaness. D: i cant believe im that mean.
survival is realistic, realistic is cruel, cruel is success, "success has been cruel", games are like mini reality shows, mini reality shows are games.

the antigone-and-haemon production is cool. haha. maybe tmr we'll tape the antigone thing, and the song, man i like that song, (its an irish band thing haha) but i couldnt find the song online: ms kate says its sung by a band called Rua and written by Sting. the old dude who still does solo acts and tracks, the guy from Tha Police who sang "Englishman in New York" and jn thought it was funny. that guy.
forgot how the song goes.
zz. oh yes the storyline is rather 1.ancient 2.bloody 3.stupid 4.greek. haha yea the word is greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
it was a greek play anyway.

The Weakest Link ah yes ah no.

8:17 PM

Monday, June 23, 2008

i feel disturbed. and i dont want to be an ignorant fool. and i dont want to dimiss some certainities and cover them with my lack of conscience. and i am thankful.

i hope all these aren't for today only.



TAP was fun/funny/irish teacher/games. so cool. everyone close their eyes and together we'll count to 24 one after one after one after one. haha. but maybe we have to write scripts and everything and the boring part kicks in. ah.



electives arent graded, right?



thanks chelsia for Q. :D

and alot of others, even if i dont specify names and all.



thank God. theres the whole faith without deeds thing. think its me? haha.

thanks JN for being with me for TAP. anw i hope you'll spin some money out of thin air to buy an esplanade seat for magicbox (cmon so cool sit on esplanade chair) and for your mags.



actually i had alot of things to say which are forgotten. sadly. pitifully. talk is damn cheap. pray, believe, persevere, treasure, worship, take action; even telling others to take action is damn uh. deceitful. singing like that may be much cheaper, but at least nowadays its better now. easy to say finish bbyd essay. like that. hah.

behold the new has come (or yet to)!

bloodyhell. hell hath fire, no?

coke coat comb car corn cap candy cane chocolate cake caramel cone kangaroo banana papaya cracker hairpin computer clock cassandra another cassandra baboon strawberry lemon tea cup. whoohoo.

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8:36 PM

Sunday, June 22, 2008

try me. hah. sensitive? so we may know everything about sensitive. insensitive? what do we know about insensitive?
bloodyhell.

scared? who's scared of whom?

bloodyhell.

compassion? bloodyhell.
bloodyhell. fellow, you haven't been where i had gone.

sermon today, USA pastor imported and talked about UK and south africa/america. deaths and marriages. we've haven't been where he had gone.

people die, kiddo. people die. loss, seperation, usual things, quite a dread.

meanwhile: "wipe that grin off your face!"

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8:51 PM

Saturday, June 21, 2008

since when...was biology sexy.

10:04 PM


everything is so boring.

8:48 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008

have i mentioned? YINGYING LOVES GAARA haha.
whatever. homework most positively ...

DAMN - HOMEWORK SUCKS D:

9:52 PM


hahahaha. blockbreaker is fun naruto is fun and essays arent.
choir? thats so un-cassandra.

but still,
blockbreaker is fun naruto is fun and essays arent.

5:41 PM


the problem with me is:
once i've figured out how to do my work and how to write my essay,
i just leave it alone and slack big time.

so fine. im slacking big time now. jianing is sick and funny and i dont like her because she has 2 NMEs. ew.
*scowls*

but she's going to watch 21 with meeeee (calling for people haha)

4:55 PM

Thursday, June 19, 2008

"They've done it before and they did it tonight and they'll do it again and when they do it-seems that only children weep."

"I wanted you to see something about her-i wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know that you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see through it no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs Dubose won, all ninety-eight pounds of her. According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person i ever knew."

"Tell me where is fancy bred,
Or in the heart, or in the head?
How begot, how nourished?
Reply, reply.

It is engender'd in the eyes,
With gazing fed; and fancy dies
In the cradle where it lies.
Let us all ring fancy's knell
I'll begin it,--Ding, dong, bell.
ALL
Ding, dong, bell."


all i was became all i am and all i am will become all i will be which might be similar to all i'd been.

3:07 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

001. What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
a rascal of a brother.

002. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
when i shuang.

003. What happened at 10.00am today?
training. 300/200/100m. D: sun. big sun. lacticzxz. zzz.

004. When did you last cry?
...service, i wish i could have a go at that again.

005. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
not my cup of tea.

006. What do you want in your life right now?
the very best.

007. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
when it rains, it rains.

008. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Pillows :D

009. What bottom are you wearing now?
shorts.
010. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
uh. 'i hate you'.

11. One happy thing today.
im okay now :D and i went to print photos for level camp. so im happy that i've started on chinese. hua wen. and, trng got no coach, no circuit, no whatever.

012. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
No.

013. What was the last movie you caught?
prince caspian.

014. What are you proud of?
politics.

015. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
"this pastor from my church once said that.." from jn. haha.

016. What was the last song you sang out loud?
singing lalalalalala ehh/ and the night over london lay

017. Do you have any nicknames?
"whats in a name? a rose by any other name smells as sweet"

018. What does your last received text message say?
peiying: 'happy resting' , aww. :D

019. What time did you go to bed last night?
i slept in morning (and kept waking up subsequently).

020. Are you currently happy?
what does it mean by, 'currently'?
021. Who gives you best advice?
about no one, besides God.

022. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
ew. no. never.

023. Who did you talk on phone last night?
nobody. but my brother tried to call me with the weird coke phone.

024. Is anything bugging you right now?
yes.

025. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
my brother doing his baby shark mama shark thing from scouts. but he's irritating me now.

026. Do you wear toe socks?
Nope.

027. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
as i was saying, my brother used the weird coke phone to call me.

028. Have you ever had your heartbroken?
... ouch. but davy jones had his heart broken by calypso and locked his heart up in the chest and did not do his duty and became a monster and his whole crew became monsters. ew.

029. What annoys you most in a person?
majority of the aspects which i possess and emphasise on and which he/she doesn't.

030. Do you have a crush on anyone?
no. (they take over your mouth/scribble out the truth/with all their lies/your little spies)

031. Have you ever done cocaine?
no.

032. What is the colour of your room?
uh.
033. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
no. "Do you fear death?"

034. Do you believed in the saying "talk in cheap"?
very cheap indeed.

035. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
me. okay my brother went to sit on it. irritating rascal, but better than last year. (maybe its just me haha).

036. Who was the last person to hug you?
no idea.

037. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
0.0

038. Do you have a life?
good question.

039. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
no, well-maybe me.

040. What is the reason behind your blog song?
silence is golden.

041. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
i'll get back to you when i've a dream.

042. Last time you smiled?
when my brother did his baby shark mama shark thing.

043. Have you changed this year?
sadly, yes. but i suppose i can always change back.

044. What are you listening to right now?
fan. brother yakking away.

045. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
nope.

046. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
im contented with walking with my eyes open, if thats what you mean.

047. Is there a quote you live by?
i remember this oscar wilde who said 'quotes are a serviceable substitute for wit.' so there you go, and i think my life should not be controlled by a couple o' sentences.

048. Do you want someone you can't have?
like what."i shall not be in want."

049. Have you ever played an instrument?
yep, went aboard the flying dutchman and nicked off davy jones royal organ :O

050. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
schools coming, everything's coming.

052. Are you happy with your love life right now?
053. What song describe your love life?
054. Does the person know that you like him/her?

055. Who always make you laugh?
nobody always makes me laugh.

056. Do you speak other language other than English?
chinese spanish japanese french german italian babylonian hebrews african welsh irish latin and algebra.

057. Are you blonde?
no, redhead.

058. What your middle name?
trouble.

059. What are you doing tomorrow?
work i guess.

060. What do you think you are like?
what? why not who? okay. a monster.

061. Who will you choose to die with?
quote estherhong: "Volunteers".

062.Where have you been today?
the galaxy and beyond! (and davyjones ship and trainings D:)

063. What game do you play often?
naruto on psp 0.0 arcade. the ghostbuster thing. haha. :D

064. Who are you missing right now?
... God? uh. cell. not my brother. not my class. and uh- jack sparrow and his arguments with barbossa and other comrades.

065. If you've to choose between friends & love, who will you choose?
friends are but a term refering to those you love, so, love.

066. What are you doing right now?
not what im supposed to be doing.

067. Which primary school are you from?
rosyth.

068. Name 3 colours that you like.
primary secondary and tertiary.

069. What emotion you like to show?
uh. hmm. an honest emotion.

070. What is life to you?
i've nothing to say.

071. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
complain, then pray. stick around in my room. sleep on it.

072. Who did you last chat in msn today?
nobody.

073. Who do you admire the most?
... uh, probably the dead.
and Jesus 'cause he overcame death.
and probably not those like me.

074. Which month are you born in?
i...forgot.

075. How are you feeling right now?
screwed 'cause i want to slack, longing 'cause i miss the slacking days.
and quite nauseous, come to think of it. still hurts, the lactic.

076. What is the time now?
'bout half past 2.

077. Where are you now?
Home, with the pipe organ.

078. What colour did you use to dye hair?
none.

079. Why are you doing this test?
killing time, wasting fun.

080. What do you do when you're moody?
whatever moody people do.

081. At which age you wish to get marry?
...i'll most probably die young.

082. Who is more important to you? Boyfriend or friends?
friends, since im going to die young.

083. Do you think you have enough confidence?
enough confidence, for what

084. Who is the person you trust the most?
God. besides that, um, me. besides me,

086. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
that the dream thats gonna come true would be pleasant or something. "be careful of what you wish for", or so they say.

087. What is your goal for this year?
get a life.

088. Do you believe in eternity love?
...the bible tells me so.

089. What feeling do you love most?
im unsure. i guess those gushes of warmth.

090. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
think?! do i think so?! man, get a life. thats a fact.

091. What feeling you hate the most?
mutiny and mistrust and hate and restriction and more.

092. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
...not that i remember, not every single friendship, but it'll make a good goal for my life and i can use it to answer question 087.

093. Do you believe in God?
and salvation.

094. Who cares for you the most?
God. then i don't know who else.

095. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
no answer, but a load of excuses.

096. What'll you bring when you fight?
...naruto and friends.

097. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
what i have not done.

098. What would you feel that no one no longer cares for you?
hateful, probably. then i'll scheme and plot and maybe take revenge.

099. What if your stead two-timed you?
... take revenge, then die young.

100. DO YOU HATE THIS SURVEY?
most positively.

People to do: interested parties.





i want to listen to:
Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)
and paramore's album and coldplay's album and keane and muse and this and that.

1:58 PM


thanks peiying for being with me when i felt shit sick. but remember that when people are in that sort of pain they would not appreciate a donkey joke.

still, thanks. :D (p.s. no iphone. get over it.)

100 question quiz later. zzz.

1:55 PM

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

i miss God and i dont like myself.
a little.

don't love me for fun girl/let me be the one girl/love me for a reason/let the reason be loved

9:57 PM