(must resolve to be nice to everyone!) love your neighbour as yourself uh-huh. yknow (recently) sometimes/many many times i see people bitching and spreading bad reports about others (and i catch myself doing that too), and i just feel uncomfortable because there's no valid/good reason not to like people! its not like we have to take sides against someone or what right. just let it be-----

and i realised stuff about myself. firstly, i realised my pride/sense of self-image/whatever you call it, is really getting a hold on me. then i realised, my prayers weren't for anything serious in particular, just prayers for myself, for my life, hoping that my own life would be perfect in my own way, by the power of God. and mostly, prayers about getting my life to turn out in the way i want it, about positive results coming from decisions that i decide for myself. isnt it stupid or what. and then i tell myself, thats not the way to go. though i succumb morally, i still believe in walking the road of repentance (guess im walking it now.) surely God will be with me and repair my soul.

theres so much about the God i know i want to express, but im not so eloquent a speaker/writer that i can write down all the outpouring from my heart. im going forward, and i dont want to go back. im building my house, but i dont want to build the foundations on sand. now, i dont want to backslide, but then again, backsliding seems almost inevitable to me. is this a case of fearing to be away from God?

anyway, a new maid arrived from myammar (i think). she's christian!